How to Save A Relationship 18 Tips From Experts
|

How to Save A Relationship: 18 Best Tips From Experts in 2023

ByUmesh Kumar

Therapists share their best tips on How to Save A Relationship. Even without adding anxieties, betrayals, or an international epidemic, relationships can be challenging, confronting, and terrifying for many people because they frequently bring people with diverse ideas, values, experiences, and histories together.

At times of difficulty, a healthy couple tries to see the forest for the trees, using this as a chance to work on the relationship, improve themselves, and seek a deeper understanding of one another.

Is it possible to save a relationship?

“That’s not easy,” says couple therapist Anjula Mutanda, “it may feel as though you’ve tried everything in your arsenal so far, but if you’re here, it implies you want to be together. The conviction that this relationship is worth preserving serves as the beginning point.

According to our specialists, the following actions can prevent a deteriorating relationship from ending in divorce.

When it feels like you’re losing yourself…

How to Save A Relationship 18 Tips From Experts
How to Save A Relationship 18 Tips From Experts

1. Start the conversation from a loving place

Do you need relationship advice? Start by discussing it. You could believe that your partner is the only one seeking explanations, but Mutanda points out that this is likely not the case. Start the dialogue with them in a compassionate manner to assist them.

“We’ve seen enough rom-coms to know that the phrase “we need to chat” may be laden and make the other person feel as though they are stepping into a hostile environment. Instead, she advises starting the conversation by expressing your want to work together to save your relationship and your good goals for the discussion.

2. Re-evaluate the reasons you’re together

It’s normal for couples to portray their relationship (and its history) negatively when circumstances are bad. In order to combat this, Dr. Jacqui Gabb, professor of sociology and intimacy at The Open University, advises thinking back to the start of your relationship and the characteristics that brought you together.

“Ask yourself: What first drew me to this person? What attributes about them do I admire? Why do we collaborate well? We frequently take these qualities for granted, but it has been shown that doing so boosts relationship happiness as well as sentiments of support, appreciation, and optimism for the future, according to her.

3. Invest in yourself

Although it may feel like the only thing you want to do when your relationship is in trouble is cling to your spouse, experts say that this is precisely when you need to concentrate on yourself.

Whether or not you are going through a difficult period, Dr. Gabb argues that investing in and creating time for yourself may have positive and long-lasting effects on your relationship.

“Both parties need to perform inner work on themselves, and reconnect with their own basic beliefs and strengths, in order to save and strengthen a relationship that’s failing,” she adds. You won’t be in the ideal position to collaborate as a team until then.

When trust has been broken…

4. Commit to rebuilding trust as a team

Trust is an important and essential part of any relationship. But when your partner does harmful and hurtful things to you (be dishonest, cheat, deceive), that trust is broken and you will need to rebuild it. Is it possible to save a relationship after lying or other betrayals?

“Yes,” says Dr. Terri Orbuch, a relationship therapist and professor of sociology at Oakland University. “Trust can be rebuilt, but it takes a lot of work and commitment on both partners’ parts and takes a very long time,” she says.

“Ask yourselves: are you both open to soul-searching, listening, and healing? If so, then you and your partner, as a team, need to choose a specific time period (maybe six weeks or six months) during which both of you commit to working on the relationship.”

5. Work to understand each other’s perspective

“Both parties must make an effort to comprehend the viewpoint of the other spouse in order for trust to be reestablished. Understanding goes both ways, says Orbuch, even if you don’t agree with their justifications, goals, or what you hear.

Remember to apologize and refrain from providing an explanation if you must. Show compassion for your partner’s sentiments, acknowledge their experience and give as much information as you can about the circumstances around the indiscretion.

When you get an apology, pay close attention to what your spouse has to say. Be respectful, refrain from interjecting, and be receptive to what they say about what motivated their conduct. To make sure you’ve heard and understand what they’re saying, it might be beneficial to ask for clarification and repeat what they’ve said back to them.

When you’re not having sex…

6. Don’t panic!

Sexual frequency fluctuates over a relationship and is not necessarily a reason for concern. What is typical for you may alter over time, and each pair is unique. Note that media depictions of sex are often fictitious and sensationalized, so don’t compare your sex life to something that isn’t genuine.

If you want more or different types of sex in your relationship, it might be beneficial to write down how much sex you want over the next month, be precise about the kind of sexual activities you’d like to include — and urge your spouse to do the same.

“Working at sex may be really unsexy, so be aware of this,” adds Dr. Gabb. “Coming to an accord entails establishing routine and sexual practices that work for both of you.”

7. Find new ways to be desirable

“Although many happy couples, especially those over the age of 70, may desire sex, health and other concerns might intrude, making it impossible for one or both spouses,” says Dr. Pepper Schwartz, a sociology professor at the University of Washington.

But do they divorce or split up? “No,” she says, “because a deeper connection of life experiences and interdependence has produced an unbreakable bond that is more vital than sex.”

According to Schwartz, if sex is not feasible for whatever reason, being needed as a counselor and supporter has its own strength. “Be the person in your partner’s life who is most appreciated, most depended on, and, most crucially, most trusted,” she advises.

8. Explore other forms of physical affection

Although there is a link between sexual frequency and relationship happiness, sex is more than simply intercourse and can mean various things to different individuals. For example, you may be OK with daily kisses and cuddles, but your spouse may like lengthier fondles once a week.

Being honest, transparent, and respectful about your wishes and feelings is critical. One person’s wants cannot take precedence over another’s. Instead, both parties must feel secure in expressing their sexual urges, and the subject of sex must stay open for discussion.

When you feel your partner is pulling away…

9. Be careful about your assumptions

“If you believe your relationship is likely to end or that your spouse is withdrawing, first examine your assumptions,” advises couple therapist Judith Lask. “When we are insecure, we are more vulnerable to danger, which includes fear of being abandoned or abandoned.”

Lask advises spending some time reflecting on any issues that are bothering you or making you more sensitive.

“There might be other reasons your partner is more introverted and disconnected. “These may include work-related stressors as well as physical or mental health difficulties,” she explains.

10. Reflect on your own reactions

If you still believe your spouse is withdrawing, consider your responses and behavior, which may drive your partner to back off.

For example, you may become irritable or demanding, or you may find yourself turning away from your spouse to protect yourself.

“You may believe that doing so will show your spouse how you feel, but if your partner is equally worried, they may see it as a rejection rather than a desire for connection,” Lask explains.

When you feel you’re always fighting…

11. Talk to someone

“First and foremost, arguing, unless violent and leaving one person feeling wounded or dominated, is not an indicator that the relationship is ended or that it is not worth rescuing,” explains couple therapist Martin Gill.

“It’s an indication that something tough or imbalanced has to be changed. Change is difficult. Receiving help identifying strengths and new communication habits in your relationship might be the first step.”

12. Own your feelings

If you feel like you’re continually arguing in your relationship, Gill suggests shifting the focus of your fights from “you” to “I” statements.

“When it comes to disagreement, speaking from and for yourself — or ‘owning’ your thoughts and wants — might help you ‘unblended’ from your and your partner’s issues,” he adds.

For example, instead of stating “You don’t care about me, if you did you would hug me,” you may say, “I’m feeling alone”, or “I’m experiencing myself wanting to be reached out to, but I’m also feeling overwhelmed. I need some alone time for 20 minutes. Is that even possible? When I return, we may discuss your requirements.”

When the relationship has become boring… 

13. Try new things

It is critical to keep a connection alive and well. Happy couples can manage their homes, jobs, and families while also enjoying the novelty and pleasure of attempting new things.

According to experts, enjoying new experiences together is a terrific strategy to rescue a boring relationship – they can help revive the love and motivate you to spend more quality time together.

Try developing a wish list of destinations to visit with your partner and planning dates to visit them in the coming months.

14. Get away from it all

According to studies, going away is especially helpful for women. People are more enthusiastic when not under the stress of their daily existence.

Women have a difficult time compartmentalizing things at home. They’re thinking about laundry, lunch, bills, cleaning the house, and marking items off their mental to-do list.

“If at all possible, get out of the house for at least one night and two days to somewhere that interests both of you and make new memories together,” Orbuch suggests.

“You don’t have to go far away or spend a lot of money; the objective is to relax and enjoy some unpressured time together to reignite the flame.”

When you’re long-distance….

15. Get a reunion in the diary

Long-distance relationships may be complex even in the best of circumstances because it’s simpler to construct a story or make assumptions when you’re separated. “Having a reunion to look forward to is an important first step in preventing a long-distance relationship from failing,” adds Mutanda.

“Having something to look forward to will give you something to focus on as well as demonstrate to each other that you’re prepared to put in the work to lubricate the gears of the relationship and stay connected,” she adds. “Once you’re in each other’s company, you may reset the relationship and decide whether this is still what you want.”

16. Send an email

It may be difficult to find time to chat these days, especially if you live apart, and many couples don’t want to bring up bad thoughts or issues when they do get a chance to speak.

“I recommend to my customers that they write out their worries in an email,” Mutanda adds, “since doing so removes the emotional aspect of it; by writing it out, you can see what’s written and have more control over how it comes across.”

“Begin optimistically — ‘I love you, I want this to work,’ for example — and then provide a solution, such as ‘I realize it’s difficult to chat, but can we set up a weekly Zoom to keep connected?'”

17. Do regular check-ins

Partnerships need upkeep. Setting aside time for frequent relationship check-ins, in which you sit down together and have a calm and honest chat about how your relationship is doing, is critical for its health.

Addressing possible problems early on allows you to solve them before they break, which will increase your awareness of each other while also increasing closeness and connection.

Paired understands the need to make everyday relationship care a habit. Download the Paired app to get engaging daily relationship questions and quizzes to answer with your spouse, all of which have been scientifically shown to strengthen your relationship.

18. And finally, never lose sight of this key boundary…

“If I were to describe almost 60 years of amazing relationship research in one line, this is it,” says Dr. Duana Welch, relationship specialist and author of Love Factually. “If you can find — and be — nice and courteous, your relationship will most likely go well; if you can’t, it won’t.”

Welch advises students to learn about kindness and respect. “Set a hard boundary that if your spouse exceeds those boundaries even once, the relationship is absolutely finished. You deserve a good love life, and with this limit, you will!”

Frequently Asked Questions

How do you save a broken relationship?

Saving a broken relationship requires honest communication, mutual respect, willingness to compromise, and dedication to resolving issues. Seek counseling, express feelings calmly, and work to build trust and intimacy. Remember that it takes effort from both partners to rebuild a strong relationship.

Can you save a failing relationship?

It is possible to save a failing relationship, but it takes effort from both partners. Identify issues, communicate openly, listen actively, and work together to rebuild trust and intimacy. If necessary, seek counseling to overcome challenges and find solutions.

What do you say to save a relationship?

To save a relationship, express your feelings honestly, listen actively, and work together to find solutions to any issues. Apologize for mistakes, validate feelings, and show empathy. Remember to communicate respectfully, without blame or criticism, and seek counselling if necessary.

How can I make my relationship good again?

To make a relationship good again, focus on communication, respect, and intimacy. Listen actively, show appreciation, and work to rebuild trust. Set goals together, prioritize time for each other and seek counselling if needed. Remember that it takes effort from both partners.


You might also like:

Similar Posts